Possessed By an alien
I went on a date and was possessed by an alien. I put on a full face of makeup, and a chic little number and walked out the door. The second I walked into the bar and saw the handsome fella I felt the creature enter my body. The alien sat us down at the bar next to the man and ordered us a gin and tonic. I hate gin and tonics but the alien was trying to be smooth since I normally don’t really drink. It was fine, but then the alien started to schmooze, asking questions like “so what do you do for a living” and “tell me about your family.” Ick. I hate making small talk. But the alien continued it for a while. At first mundane and then surprisingly enjoyable. The conversation got deeper and the mood got better and the alien agreed to letting us order another drink. I’m not one for enjoying strangers but the alien was having a blast so we stayed out for a bit longer, chatting, learning, admiring (it’s never been my thing, personally, but I guess that’s something the alien does on dates). Then the alien let him walk us home and give us a kiss goodnight. Gasp. I hath never.
I hoped the alien would leave me alone then, but alas. It took a maddening grip on me shouting “TEXT HIM, TEXT HIM,”, storing a cage of butterflies in my stomach. I couldn’t bear it so I texted him and thanked him for our time together. And the alien delighted when he responded, returning the sentiment. But then the next day passed, and the next day, and I heard nothing from the man. And then way too much from the alien. “HE HATES YOU” the alien shouted in my ear followed by “Not really, he obviously loves you” and then “maybe he’s just playing hard to get.” Finally the alien said, “let’s be realistic here. He probably got kidnapped by an ecoterrorist group and is in a submarine below the planet’s detectable atmosphere with no oxygen or cell phone service.” The alien was behaving like a mad man. As a self-proclaimed avoidant maven, I personally never react like this after a date, or ever. But the alien had flown off the handle. Despair, chaos, and a jackhammer of thoughts and words and what-if and what-nows. As the days went on without a text, the alien started eating my insides. My intestines first, and then my brain cells, until I was just a shell of a human.
The alien had sucked me dry. I need it out. Immediately. So I went for a run. And I ran and I ran and ran until there was sweat coming out of my eyeballs and steam out of my nostrils and pain from every ounce of my being. And with the hurt and the tears and the dread and wonder and disappointment and lust and longing and anger I inched the alien bit by bit out of my body. Gone, finally, with just a burning silence where it had once been. I jumped into the lake beside me, delighting in the emptiness that finally occupied my brain and my body. As I let the water wash away the absurdity of the days before I saw a handsome man swim up the bay a few yards in front of me. I was just about to open my mouth to say hello. But then I thought, the alien may be close by. I better not.
